My awakening journey,
Ever since childhood, I’ve felt something in this world wasn’t right. I’m sure I was not the only one. I had trouble connecting to others. What the adults told me often didn’t match with what I was feeling inside. The only “things” I truly experienced as pure and true, were the natural and animal worlds. I could easily connect with those realms, and therefore nature became my safe place. The first awakening that opened the door to my soul a bit, I experienced in the year 1995. A year earlier I had read two books, Barefoot Through Australia, a story about the Aboriginal people and the Celestine Prophecy, a book about energy, the natural laws and synchronicity. After reading these two books, two questions arose; “Who am I really and what am I doing here?” These questions created a spark of light in my soul, and energy started moving. Which activated a dream in which I experienced myself as a rainbow butterfly being of light. Along with many other butterfly light beings, I flew over a magical flower island. Now I know it was my light family and home planet Cassiopeia. The next day I decided to leave my job and home and follow the dream the butterfly being. I went to the travel agency in town and asked the woman behind the counter if there was an island known for its floral beauty. She herself had just returned from Samos. The Greek island known as the Flower Island. In my heart, I knew I had to go there, so I got myself a one way ticket to Samos, and off I went, on my way towards my first heart guided adventure. This journey became my first experience of synchronicity and learning about the world of energy.
Up until the year 2012, I was able to experience several beautiful awakening moments. Especially during my nature walks, my travels and while I was in training for Shiatsu therapist. I knew that my heart was never wrong, but other than that I still knew very little. The game played by the dark ones in this 3D Earth matrix and in the 4th dimension was still unknown to me. Unconsciously, I knew something, because as a child I experienced a very scary 4th dimensional being at night in my bedroom. But at that moment I didn’t understand what it was. And I knew something about the lies within the banking system, but that was about it. So when in 2012, the door to truth opened itself, I rushed through all the layers of conditioning and the dark rabbit holes of lies. While at the same time, the memories of my soul began to surface. My physical body had a very strong reaction and got sick for a long time. So in 2012, my awakening journey truly began.
In 2012, I woke up in a rather explosive way. My head exploded into light and I shot out of my physical body. Transformed into a dragon, and I suddenly found myself in a realm of Dragons. All my acquired truths suddenly no longer stood. And a series of unexplained illnesses followed. My life in a sweet village near the shores of Mother Ocean ceased to exist in 2012. The new direction of my soul, caused me to lose my job and home.
Ever since the 2012 explosion, my body had been inexplicably sick, soul memories kept surfacing and in the passing year I had to move twice. The lawsuits with the bank were very unfair and therefore energy sucking. On top of that, my body experienced in that same year two miscarriages. So you can Imagen I was physically exhausted at the end of 2012. But thank god, an angel with great news was already on its way. An acquaintance of my beloved was interested in an energy project he was working on with his mates. He told us that he had bought a piece of land in the Ardennes, but did not know exactly why. He felt he had to buy it. He asked us if we wanted to manage it, so we could live in the caravan for free. His offer came in the perfect moment.
The man that brought to us this wonderful opportunity, was not just anybody, I knew him and his wife from a past life. There was karma between him and me. I found out later. Weeks before he came by, I’d had a vision of a magical place in the woods. With two beautiful lakes. And what do you think? When we got there, it was just as I had seen in my vision. Awakening can be hard work, but the magic and synchronicity moments, make every soul step you need to take worth it.
I could finally breathe freely. No more system, and no more taking care of others, no, finally peace and time for me. So in 2013, me and my then lover, landed in a caravan somewhere in the middle of the Belgian Ardennes, away from humanity. Synchronicity and old karma had brought us to this magical place. We, as lovers, had a lot of past life karma to resolve. What, was not clear at that moment. It became clear to me in the following years. Being in the middle of the forest, was a great place to work on the karmic issues between us. And of course our own individual Soul path.
Every day on an adventure with my dogs through the woods, meditating for hours, painting whenever I felt like it, just being who I wanted to be in every moment. My body was still sick, and my soul’s memories continued in rapid succession. I found the cause of every discomfort in my physical body in trauma experiences from this life and previous lives. The pain had settled in my organs. New ways of healing and eating awoke in me. I started the day with my Mother Earth drink, a shake of delicious wild herbs. Due to lack of money, we immersed ourselves in forest food. Delicious mushrooms and forest fruits were on the daily menu. My body was in a heavy detoxification process, because of my former years of drinking and eating toxic E-s and vitamin-poor food from the supermarket. I accelerated the process by drinking lots of purified water, vitamin C powder in high doses, maca powder, zeolite, vitamin supplements and lots of pure foods. My body got happier by the day. Every time I exposed a trauma, a lost piece of my soul came home to my heart. I started to feel more and more whole. Dormant DNA was activated, giving me access to “new” healing methods and forms of creative expression. For several months, I consciously started “talking” every day with the consciousness of my organs, asking the organ what it needed. Every organ required its own light symbol, geometry, movement and sound frequency. In this way, I was able to reset all my organs one at the time. My body felt better than ever before. It felt purified. I never experienced sickness after that.
New soul memories kept surfacing. My soul’s journey started to become clearer by the day, and I began to realize that Mother Earth and Spirit were always taking care of our basic needs. Synchronicity was present every day. If it was gone for a while, my then partner and I would look at each other and said, we’re out of the flow. Just by saying that, we became consciousness that we were somewhere in the past or in the future with our thoughts. Back to the now and the connection with the energy of synchronicity restored itself. Seeing myself walking the path of darkness in previous incarnations allowed me to forgive and embrace this life and everyone in it. Nothing is black or white, we have all walked the path of darkness at one time or another, in this life or in a previous life. Therefore, judging another in a small or a big way, left my life for good.
My consciousness continued to expand, and I was given access to new galactic soul memories. Saw in which galaxy my essence was first incarnated, in a beautiful rainbow butterfly-like form of light. Through the galactic memories and travels that followed, I discovered more and more. Higher aspects came through to integrate. My experiences became more magical and inexplicable. Realizing that I don’t really know anything.
Whenever my perspective changed again, and I thought I knew something, the next day it turned out to be different again. I resigned myself to not knowing and let my negative ego die. Awakening is a journey of a constant change in perception. Truth is always changing. During my journey of awakening, my art, writing songs and stories became a way to anchor and release the many experiences. Nature gave me the anchoring needed to not go crazy. Because awakening from all your layers of conditioning can bring painful moments. Years of truths suddenly turn out to be lies. Along with the memories of your soul, yes, you do feel a moment of madness now and then.
The animals and nature have always been a solid truth for me. Until this truth was also undermined. Just during the day with eyes open, I suddenly saw luminous pink dolphins swimming in the pond, purple light coming out of a friend’s neck during a healing, golden balls of light were handed to me and trees turned to light. I saw myself and the whole landscape change to what seemed to be nothingness, pure energy. A TV screen from the eighties that is disturbing. That’s what it looked like. Everything suddenly seemed to be an illusion, the moon, the stars, nature, everything, including myself. But that day a constant clear connection was activated between my Earth self, my inner child and my highest energetic form of self. The form I call my highest light. I began to perceive the worlds beyond the veil, the worlds of light and energy. Aspects/guides/galactic family started to come through with enthusiasm, they wanted to tell me something, but this was too much, it gave me too much unrest. I decided, I have to do the work here on Earth, so on Earth I’m in charge. I decided to ask my highest light if she would speak for them and only “disturb” me if it was really important. From that moment on there was a blissful peace with only the occasional significant message.
I listened to my highest light and continued to share as much love and beauty as possible. The forest became my home, enjoying the animals and nature for hours and hours every day. The many visions, dreams and experiences I anchored daily through my art expressions. This resulted in children’s books, a website for children, many children’s songs and works of art. I made Oracle decks from my art and from the many photos of Gaia and Solaris, to inspire the whole.
At some point, my highest light started sharing names with me. And told me it was time for a sisterhood. I entered the names that came through in the search area of Facebook, and I told the women what my Highest Light had told me. From this movement, the Sisterhood Healing Oracle Deck arose. While creating all soul portraits, activations happened for both me and my sisters. This was the beginning of Quantum Healing for me. Distance also turned out to be an illusion. To this day, we still work together through the ethers. We all live somewhere else on the planet, but through the created Emerald Sisterhood field, we are always connected. Beyond space and time.
My relationship ended quite explosively, which again had to do with our old karma. We had grown apart. The karma between us was transformed. And our frequencies started to collide. It was time for me to start living amongst the people again. After 7 years of deep soul diving had past, I found myself in the year 2019. Time had flown by. At the same time, my mother became ill, and I decided to move in with her. This way I could take care of her and gradually rebuild my life in the Netherlands. A house of my own for me and my dogs. I now have the house, but unfortunately without two of my doggy soul mates. The transition from always freedom in the forest, to limited freedom again and often on a leash, was difficult for them. For me also. In the realms of light, they are regularly with me and still help assist me on my awakening journey. Fortunately, I still have one dog buddy by my side. Animals and nature make the journey on Earth so much easier and more beautiful. Being alone in nature in previous years made it difficult to step back into the human world. I allow myself the time I need. For time is an illusion and everything is already present in this moment. My highest light now makes me move towards a sound healing circle, and from that movement we will see what wants to be born.
I hope I inspire you on your awakening journey with the content of my website, and if you have any question, want a design or painting, or feel inspired to create with me on this journey, please don’t hesitate to contact me.
If after reading my journey, you have become curious about the stories of my past live incarnations and karma, read on here.
Love Esther Qizenna